


'Bite it. You have to bite it.'

by StilesHale91



Category: Atonement (2007)
Genre: AU, Candy, Child Abuse, Chocolate, Crossover Pairings, F/M, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Love, Love Confessions, Pedophilia, Rape, Summer, Twins, Underage - Freeform, Unrequited Love, War, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-06
Updated: 2012-12-06
Packaged: 2017-11-20 11:35:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/584983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StilesHale91/pseuds/StilesHale91
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>❀ A theory behind Paul and Lola's relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	'Bite it. You have to bite it.'

It was an awfully hot day in Surrey, the young girl who was sitting by the window, tried to cool down, but there wasn't even a gentle breeze. She was resting her deep blue eyes on the view, which was picturesque, with the antique fountain, the green fields with lots of trees and the lake in the distance. But Lola just yawned, the road to Surrey was rather tiring and boring, and she wasn't happy to be there at all. Her thoughts were circling around her parents and the question of divorce. She picked out a red nail-varnish from her pocket what she secretly bought herself at Liberty's, the vial of the varnish clinked against something in her pocket, then she smirked, it was a brand new claret lipstick, but she rather left that untouched for now, she might use it later. Lola stretched out and started to varnish her nails. As she finished she smiled with delight as it looked pretty on her, but quickly this smile disappeared from her face. She just sighed and continued looking out the window, and her thoughts were far away: ' What's the point of doing all this? Buying nice clothes, making my hair, everyone treat me like a child, but I'm not, I'm 15 years old for God's sake. I've read lots of romantic novels, there used to be women who was married already by this age, and the adults think that I'm as childish like my brothers.' Then her thoughts were interrupted as a ball almost hit her. Lola stood up quickly and yelled at the twins.

"Why don't you go, and play outside?! If you'll break the windows they'll say it's my fault, because I'm responsible for you!"  
"But we're bored Lola, what else you think we should do?" 

Jackson threw the ball into the corner with anger then leaned down on the floor and started to play 21 questions with his brother. Lola kept her eyes on them while she was blowing her nails, then her cousin entered without even knocking and held some sheets of paper in her arms. As it turned out later, Lola's cousin wrote a play, with the title 'The Trials of Arabella', and she wanted them to present it. But the rehearsal was a failure, as the twins as always got bored of it and rather ran out to the lake. Although Lola was rather excited about it, as unlikely to the twins it was a remedy to her boredom, she'd have played the main role. But she wasn't so upset anyway, she didn't really like Briony, she thought that her cousin was stuck up and pampered. The play was dedicated to Briony's brother, who was expected to arrive that day, and it was also said he'll bring a guest with him. Lola was all alone in the room for a while and took a nap, she woke up for the twins' chatter. They were talking about their parents and the divorce, it pissed Lola off so much, because she was upset about the idea too, so she decided to discipline them. It was interrupted when a tall and well dressed man walked into their room. Lola felt for the first time that her heart was racing funnily. Then she heard his name, Paul Marshall, what a music to the ears. Lola just couldn't take her eyes off him, she was glaring deeply into those beautiful charming eyes. When he said he fancies her trousers, she felt absolutely delighted, a compliment from such an elegant and mature man like Mr. Marshall. As they were having a short conversation Lola was running her eyes all over Paul, she loved his mustache it made him even more handsome, and she just loved the way he dressed, so fancy and dashing. This man was like the absolute copy of the men in her dreams. When he handled her a bar of chocolate and said 'Bite it.' her limbs trembled into his smooth voice and the flirting look on his face. The twins started to feel the situation dull so they picked up their wooden toy airplane and started running all over in the house, making a lot of noise. Meanwhile Paul and Lola stayed in the nursery room on their own. Lola clanged onto the wooden pillar and didn't stop gazing into Paul's eyes. He walked closer and was looking back at her, as he rubbed his mouth gently. 

" If I may say, that colour on your nails does look absolutely scrumptious, Miss Lola."  
"You're the first one who noticed it, or who made a compliment. Adults usually say I'm too young for these kind of things, but I'm not, I'm not a child, I'm a mature woman!"  
"Of course you are, and I'm pretty sure this mature woman has a young gentleman as a partner, am I right?"  
"No...I don't have a boyfriend. But I haven't met with anyone who would deserve to be with me. However adults, they don't even notice me, and at school with who I met all of them were so childish and ridiculous. But none of them were like you Mr. Marshall."  
"Oh dear Lola, I'm flattered by your words. I wonder how could other men avoid noticing those beautiful blue eyes, that pretty freckled cheek and those red full lips, it's so hard to resist not to touch them. "

Lola blushed deeply and leaned a little closer to Paul, her black eye lashes made her look even more provoking. Marshall's fever made him to act, he pressed his lips against Lola's and gave a deep kiss to her. Lola felt her body has started heating up, she hardly could stand on her feet, she thought to herself, so that's what love is. Paul backed off a little and stroked Lola's cheek. He couldn't stop himself from going further, it was impossible to resist Lola, she was shooting at him such provoking glances. He pushed Lola against the pillar and pressed his body tightly to her, while he caressed her body, and slipped his hand onto her lap. Lola got all shocked, this was all too new and frightening for her. She tried to push Marshall away but he just got more turned on, he slid his hand under Lola's shirt, and touched her nipple with his long fingers. She didn't know what to do so she scratched Paul's cheek with her nails and she wanted to run out but Paul grabbed her arm tightly. Lola wanted to escape from his grip but he was too strong and he was squeezing her arm even harder. She asked him to let her go, then slowly he took his hand off her.

"Don't tell anyone about this! Oh yes, and if they ask about the bruise on your arm, tell the twins have done it." 

Paul stormed out from the room and slammed the door behind him. Lola burst out into tears. She had multiple feelings inside her, pain, fear, shock. Paul scared her and was mean to her. She thought that perhaps after that she has scratched him, he will never ever talk to her. She was blaming herself, but she got scared from her own feelings, her body was acting so differently like ever before. As Paul touched the intimate areas on her body, next to the shock it felt strangely good, but she just didn't want to admit it to herself, she thought it's a sin or something that she shouldn't have enjoyed , but she did, and there was nothing she could do about it. Later on the day she did tell everyone who asked that the bruises on her arm were caused by the twins. At the dinner table Marshall was sitting front of her, and she was wondering whether he was angry with her or not. Others were asking about the bruises as well and the wound on Paul's face, but he talked it out. When Lola got to know that the twins ran away she felt so nervous, because if something happened to them then it'll be her responsibility. She got so mad, and went out to the dark property on her own. She got more and more farther from the mansion. She had only a thin pink dress on her but the weather was still warm. Then someone grabbed her arms from behind and pressed her body against the grass. 

" Lola, it's okay I'm not going to hurt you." 

Paul's voice caused such a pleasing feeling to Lola. He kissed her neck from behind, and this time she didn't want to push him away. Paul had such a strong lust for Lola, he couldn't wait. He lifted up Lola's dress and pulled down her panties, then unzipped his trousers. His member wanted to get inside Lola, he was at the top of his erection. Paul grabbed Lola's shoulder and thrust his member into her tight and untouched cunt. Paul immediately placed his hand on Lola's mouth as he thought she might scream. Lola was screaming and moaning against his hand. He was moving in and out fast and rough while he was sighing against Lola's neck. As Paul was enjoying it, Lola had deep pains in her body, she didn't know what, but it strained her womb and it caused strong aches. She wanted him to stop, but he didn't, Paul just started to thrust more and more harder and faster, when finally he stopped. Lola felt weird as something poured into her womb, something warm. Then someone held a torch against them, which made Paul to quickly run away. As Lola sat up she felt something dripping down on her thighs, and her cheek was covered with tears. It was Briony who stepped to her, and asked about who was it. Lola felt grateful about that she didn't see Paul, she didn't want to reveal that he was the one who did this to her. Then from a sudden her cousin accused Robbie, the friend of their family, and as Lola didn't have anything else in mind it seemed a comfortable answer in order to cover for Marshall so she agreed that it really was Robbie. Because of the shock of course Lola was crying but rather because of the pain and the event, and not because she felt sorry about it. As Briony's brother brought her in she glanced at Paul who was sleeping on the couch, she just couldn't believe how can he be so calm about it, and then she felt fear, what if he doesn't even care.

After that night Paul and Leon stayed at the property for a few more days, but Paul avoided any meeting or even a glance at Lola, it would have been too risky, after what had happened. Then he left without saying anything to Lola. Months passed and Lola still was at her cousin's house, she was in an agony every single day, and they understood her. The recovery from a rape must have been hard and a long process, but none of them suspected the real reason of her grief. Lola missed Marshall, she couldn't stop thinking about him, she saw him in her dreams, and even when she was awake, she was daydreaming about him day after day. As more and more months passed, she began to feel desperate. Lola didn't even dare to think into what if she won't see Paul ever again, she won't feel his warm lips, his touch...At least the twins were told to keep away from Lola and do not bother her. She gloated upon that now Briony has to take care of the twins. Lola was wandering on the property in the afternoons pointlessly, she was remembering back to every single word what Paul has said to her, his fragrance, his suits, his perfect face. She blamed herself perhaps it was her fault that Paul left without saying a word. She just couldn't forget about Paul but honestly she didn't want to. The only thing which was on her mind was Paul, she even wrote some love letters but always threw them away, she couldn't send them, and the risk was too much, she never wanted to cause any problem to Paul. 

One day when they were having lunch at the dining room, one of the servants came in with a package and he placed it on the table. Lola's heart almost jumped out of its place as she glanced at the sender's name. The package was from Paul Marshall. His chocolate factory reached quite a big success and the box was full of chocolate bars each with a little note with a name on it. As Lola got hers, she left the room and went upstairs to her room. She leaned against the door and hugged the chocolate to herself and smiled with tears in her eyes. She started to move away the wrapper, and her eyes widened up as she noticed a little note with handwriting on it. She quickly locked the door and sat down on the floor before she began to read it. 

'My dearest Lola,

I'm in a tough situation, but you know that better than me, because you really are a mature and smart woman. I can't forget about that night, wish it'd have last longer. I'm that kind of man who can decide shortly and I'm confident, but in our case, once in my life I don't know what to do next. All I can say to be patient, and wait for me, because I will, you captured my heart and I can't escape from it, doesn't matter how hard I try. Our time will come Lola, and then I'll turn up and you'll be mine. - Paul Marshall'

Lola had so many feelings, the tears just burst out of her heavily. She was more than happy that she got news from Paul moreover that he did love her back. She cursed it that she was only 15 years old, and that the adults were thinking stupidly that she's not old enough for love. But she swore at that sacred moment that she'll wait for Paul Marshall, no matter how long, but she'll wait and keep herself just for him. It seemed hard to wait that much, to not be able to see him, but that'd probably ruin their plans if she would, it'd have been suspicious perhaps to others. She wanted to keep the little note from Paul but she couldn't risk it, so she read it once again before she threw it into the fireplace.

Five years have passed and the only thing which kept life in Lola was that she'll see Paul again, that his love will return to her. But with each year the spark of hope started to burn out from her. There were days when she told herself that Paul must have gotten married by now and already forgotten about her. She was now 20 years old, really a grown up woman even in the eyes of the adults. There were some men who tried to flirt with her or have a chat, but she was repulsive and cold with all of them, her heart was already taken. Lola and the twins were living at a far relative on a countryside. She also worried about that what if Paul was looking for her but never found her because she moved away to a different place. One of the days she went to the backyard and sat down on a bench, the sun was heating up her body and Lola slowly fell asleep, she woke up as someone was holding her hand. She almost fainted, and she couldn't breathe for some seconds. It was Paul, he was sitting there beside her, holding her hand gently and said just one thing: 'I returned my love.' As they were alone in the garden Lola without thinking kissed him deeply then snuggled tightly to him. After all those years of waiting, finally her dream came true, Paul came back. After that day Paul became a daily visitor to them, and after a week he engaged Lola. The engagement and the wedding all happened so quickly, but they all waited for 5 years, they didn't want to wait more for each other. After they got married and headed away from the church, Lola noticed Briony in the back rows, and she got scared, because from the look on Briony's face Lola thought, she knew, she must have seen Paul on that night. Lola was worried what if she'll reveal her and Paul's secret, but she didn't, she was just standing there and watching them leave. Lola felt sometimes guilty about Robbie, but she couldn't really help him and she didn't want to because with the truth she'd never have the chance with Marshall. It was a bigger sin and guilt for Briony as she was the one who found out the whole thing about Robbie and her. But after the wedding nothing really bothered Lola anymore, because she got what she wanted, Paul by her side forever. Nothing could compare with that feeling that everyday she fell asleep in his strong arms and woke up by his side.

**Author's Note:**

> ☆ I've seen the movie, Atonement, I've read the book, but it was never 100% clear for me what was really going on between Lola and Paul, the reasons for many things either. I've read several forums and people are just guessing. Therefore I decided to write down a theory.


End file.
